Friday morning. A usual ritual – I get up early, I settle down with coffee and cigarettes, then I let the words embroider a column for readers. Not so now. The order of things has changed and hence – Friday morning, I drink coffee to wake up, I glue eyelids like Tom, Jerry’s friend, I sit down to write a column, I finish, I close my laptop and I fall into bed, even though I’m already asleep before I fall asleep.
I live a vampire life, I am awake at night and pretend not to sleep during the day. That’s right, I’m watching football, I’m staring at the TV, the World Cup is telling its story and Curaçao is my backyard. Okay, I get really annoyed when politics insists on interfering with all its frustration, which is: I can’t have a soccer ball take my head, so it rapes the most beautiful side job in the world. What the hell are the main things if football is secondary? The policy? It annoys me that FIFA and UEFA (and all other federations and Olympic committees) treat Russian athletes as if they personally attacked Ukraine, and if they punish them, Putin will stop the war, but when it comes to countries like the USA and Israel, who can massacre whoever they want, suddenly the same punishment policy does not apply. I am equally annoyed by that stupid conversation – I hate the USA and want them to lose because they are imperialists, as if the American football players (just like the Russian ones) are guilty of something.
There are also those who simply have to add politics to football in their conversations, not that I meet them a lot, especially now that I have a vampire routine, but a person has to go around the neighborhood at least once in a while, to shop for something, and such people are always here somewhere, ready to run into them, so we have – and, Rusyakov, why do you have duct tape on your eyelids? I mutter something between two yawns, but he immediately hunts for the word football and there it is – ah, no, I’ll skip it first, this is no longer football, look at the money that’s going around there, what a shame man, but also politics, you hate the game, not that I don’t take a look, I follow what’s happening, you know me, hehe (here he starts to deny about politics), I’m always for the weaker ones, the politically disadvantaged and the way they are currently on the field, Venezuela, Cuba and Ukraine, they are my favorites, although the power will certainly not allow them to win a title. Venezuela, Cuba and Ukraine are not in the championship, I answer, they did not qualify. Well, of course they won’t pass, the “righteous” crushes, power always tramples on the weak, but anyway, which of the disadvantaged are there now to give them a glimpse of a game, especially when they play against stronger ones who must be helped by politics, eh? Well, I’m hardly talking about weaker ones, there are, for example, the USA and Canada, but also the representatives from Asia and Africa. He makes a sour face and throws it out – no, brother, you know what I’m like, hehe, pacifist at heart, I hate racists, but football and black people don’t go well with me, it’s also propaganda of power and politics.
And there I somehow manage to break away from neighborhood troubles, I rush home barely staying awake, I unpack carefully – wallet and bag in the fridge, and bread, cheese and beer in the drawer, I sit down to light a cigarette before I pass out and make a fatal mistake – I grab my mobile phone and open a social network, when there is a status: me, your imperialist satanic nonsense in which there are two of you sweaty men chasing a ball, I’m not watching you while the world is having genocides, people are starving, animals are being slaughtered and stray dogs are not cared for and if you didn’t know, football is a Masonic invention, replacing the gladiator games where slaves had to be killed for the rich to have fun, so be yourself, escape the stupidity of the crowd that is on fire on a rolling ball, live life to the fullest, eat healthy, get up brand – spa, solarium, shopping, travel, beach and let only the sky be your limit as a life destination. Ugh, thank you! I really needed this opinion of yours, because that’s the only thing missing in the collection called, “The difference between coffee and your opinion, it’s simple – I asked for coffee”. Who is Courtois to you, huh? So what happened, Rusyakov, so I’m not wrong? You are wrong. Twenty men are chasing a ball, goalkeepers are napping in the box, and they have plenty of time to think about which spas to avoid because they heard you’re having an opinion there.
In our country, the people say that politics is a whore. Wrong comparison. If politics were a whore, I would sleep with her too. By the way, a whore is usually a very beautiful woman who is given that epithet as a result of venting male frustrations at a failed attempt to undress her and take her to bed. Politics is actually a fox, or rather foxes, it can easily arrest your consciousness and lead you to strange conclusions. It happened to me in the middle of the night, during the match between Iran and New Zealand.
I was just adjusting the strabismus to follow the Brownian movement of the “ladybug” when politics arrested my logic. Well, FIFA, are you normal? Why are Ukraine and Moldova not on the football field when they meet all the conditions to enter the World Cup? And what if they didn’t pass qualifications? There are no ones to waste their time like some banana-states out there who have to accept the famous Nazi-systems – four, four, gas chambers for identity freedoms – if they want to play on elite fields. From the sky above Berlin, Paris, Brussels and Strasbourg, it can be seen that not only Ukraine and Moldova meet the conditions to be on the football fields, but they are so advanced in their tactics that they can comfortably open negotiations with the European Union, which has far more complex qualifications. And now what? Do I have to look at Iraq and Iran and those scornful eyes of theirs, which are apparently spreading hateful looks with the intention of throwing Mesopotamian-Persian lessons towards their civilized Western opponents. Then I was scared out of my thoughts caused by a hooligan intrusion of politics in the middle of a football rhapsody, I slapped myself twice, then kicked the word Nazism out of the game and sent it to the stands of the EU, where it belongs.
Be careful, Rusyakov, what you write, so that the EU does not list you in the next report as someone who spreads an anti-European story!
Sorry, Dr. Mengele and Mr. Filipche, it won’t happen again! Tonight I just fell under the physical influence of a beautiful woman born in Vojvodina, Hungarian father, Serbian mother, but she lives and works in Russia, otherwise I am civilized, I always spread European values and anti-Russian hysteria around me, by the way I am also a cosmopolitan who wants to unify because I know that European culture is completely Russian as a part of it, they came out of Macedonian civilization, only that the last two centuries have mutated a little and want to erase their mother (Macedonia) from history, present and future.
