- The murder of eleven-year-old Lyhanna in France sparks a debate about overnight stays with friends.
- The parents say that their daughter had previously been sexually molested by the alleged perpetrator.
- Studies show that many parents continue to allow overnight stays, but are concerned about the safety of their children.
- Experts emphasize that overnight stays can promote independence.
- Nevertheless, the group of “No Sleepovers” that bans such overnight stays is growing on social media.
The case of eleven-year-old Lyhanna from France is currently causing horror far beyond the country’s borders. The girl disappeared at the end of May and her body was found a few days later. The father of one of the girl’s friends is suspected of murder.
Particularly disturbing for many parents: According to French media, Lyhanna is said to have stayed overnight with this friend several times. Her parents assume that their daughter was sexually molested by the alleged perpetrator during these overnight stays. There had already been allegations against the man of alleged sexual offenses against minors.
The “No Sleepovers” group is growing
The case is now triggering a discussion that concerns many families: Should parents still let their children stay overnight with friends today? For many, so-called sleepovers are part of their childhood. Watch films together, share secrets and spend the first night without your parents.
But more and more mothers and fathers are reporting on social networks that they have become more cautious about the topic. The term “No Sleepovers” is controversially discussed on Tiktok and in parent forums. While some see overnight stays as an important part of childhood, others consider the risk of letting their child out of their sight overnight is too great.
What is most important to you when your child stays with friends?
Important development steps can be promoted
However, a large YouGov survey from 2023 among more than 6,000 adults and parents in the USA shows that the majority continue to stick to overnight stays. Around 74 percent said they would probably or definitely allow their child to spend the night with friends.
From a psychological perspective, the issue is a balancing act. Experts emphasize that overnight stays can promote important developmental steps. Children learn to find their way outside of their usual environment, gain independence and deepen friendships.
At the same time, experts recommend preparing for such situations well. Parents should know the host family and let their child know that they can call and be picked up at any time – without fear of anger or accusations. It is just as important to talk openly about boundaries and show children that they can trust their own gut feeling.
How do you handle that? Are your children allowed to stay overnight with friends – or not? If not, why not? Tell us about it at the bottom of the form.
Deborah Gonzalez (dgo) has been working at 20 Minuten since 2021. She is deputy head of the Society & Community department.
