Apr 10, 2026 – 08:00 a.m. m.
When I am with my baby, I have felt guilt because I think I am taking too much “free” time and that I should be working. But when I have very long work days, I feel guilty because I’m not with my baby. If I have time to myself, I feel guilty because, again, I should be with my baby. I imagine that other mothers will feel identified when reading this and I assume, that guilt of motherhood transforms over the years and continues to exist in new ways.
I think that this feeling is often related to how we, as women, perceive motherhood. We have learned that we are the main caregivers, that “everything” depends on us and that, in addition, we must be exceptional. Furthermore, sometimes it seems that we feel them only because there is a social belief that when we become mothers, the happy guilt is also born. What if we just decide to get rid of them?
It is precisely by trying to carry out all the roles that silent idea arises that IT IS NOT ENOUGH. Also the fact of doing so many things “half-way” in order to accomplish everything brings us guilt.
Recently it happened to me that I felt that everything was going so well, that I had achieved a good balance; but suddenly I get the feeling that because everything is going well, then something must be wrong. Incredible isn’t it?
I wonder if dads know the famous guilt just like us moms.
Today I want to propose to you to change your mentality: If we work hard, if we make an effort, if we give our best… why do we have to feel guilty?
So I want to share 3 ways to combat it:
Question your ideas: Not everything you think is true. Sometimes it’s just a learned pattern. When you make decisions as a mom and start to question whether they are the right ones… pause and ask yourself: is this true or is this what I learned I “should feel”? Many times it is not real guilt, but doubts for going against what we were taught about how a good mother “should be.”
Change “should” to “I choose”: It’s not “I should be with my baby all the time”… it’s “I choose to work because I’m also building a future for both of us.” When you do it from the election, your mentality begins to change.
Practice real presence: If you are with your baby, put down your cell phone, turn off worries and pending tasks, and take advantage of the time. If you are working, stop dividing yourself emotionally… that is also an act of love. Because it’s not about being in everything at the same time, but about truly being where you decide to be.
So you know, mommy… being a mom shouldn’t mean living with guilt. It’s not about being perfect, it’s about enjoying the experience as it is.
Kisses,
Sheldry.
