In Apocrypha, our favourite fantasyland farther away than Artemis II travelled, political consultant Oma D’unn was having a busy week.
Last week, Opposition Party Promises Not Performance (PNP) Leader, Bark Balding, consulted Oma on how to combat bad publicity. This time around, former PNP candidate, “Babbling” Brook Macabre, now Apocrypha Teachers Union President, asked Oma to help him contest Governing Party Just Lazy People (JLP) propaganda casting doubt on his child abuse claims.
Oma, whose consultancy firm Oma Unsacked solved political problems by parable, told Brook to buy a TV station. Brook didn’t understand so Oma told him a story about an Israeli commando:
A CNN reporter, a BBC reporter, and an Israeli commando are captured by ISIS. The terrorists’ leader said he’d grant each one last request before they were beheaded.
The CNN Reporter said, “I’m American, so I’d like one last burger with fries.” An underling left and returned with the meal.
The BBC Reporter said, “I’m a reporter to the end. I want to use my tape recorder and describe what’s about to happen. Maybe someday someone will hear it and know I was always on the job.” His wish was also granted.
The ISIS leader turned to the Israeli commando and said, “And now, Mr. Israeli tough guy, what’s your final wish?”
“Kick me in the butt” said the soldier.
“What?” asked the leader, “You mock us in your last hour?”
“No, I’m serious. I want you to kick me in the butt” insisted the Israeli.
The terrorist leader shoved him into the open and kicked him in the behind. The soldier went sprawling, but rolled to his knees, pulled a 9 mm pistol from under his flak jacket, and shot the leader dead. In the resulting confusion, he jumped to his knapsack, pulled out his automatic weapon and sprayed the terrorists with gunfire. In a flash, all terrorists were either dead or fleeing.
As the soldier untied the reporters, they asked “Why didn’t you just shoot them in the beginning? Why’d you ask them to kick you in the butt first?”
“What?” replied the Israeli, “and have you report I was the aggressor?”
Brook was still perplexed so Oma explained that his problem wasn’t what he said but where he said it and how he reported what he’d heard.
In Jamaica, JTA President Mark Malabver, who ran on a PNP ticket in St. Thomas West (2020), chose JTA’s annual Education Conference at a Hanover Hotel instead of a police station to publish hearsay reports of “sexual activities” by hurricane shelterees “in the clear view of students.”
Desmond McKenzie challenged Malabver to produce evidence while Dana Morris-Dixon retreated to the relative comfort of denying receiving any such reports. She promised to ask Principals to make “extraordinary checks”. Asked to provide details to the Ministry, Malabver declined citing the information’s confidential nature.
This must be the Guy Lombardo Show!
If the information reached Malabver confidentially why was it paraded publicly at a JTA Education Conference? Under the Child Care and Protection Act, any Jamaican adult who has information or reasonable suspicion a child is being abused, neglected, or in danger of such should, but Prescribed Persons, including teachers and school principals, must, make reports. Failure to report can lead to a fine; up to six months imprisonment; or both. Reports must be made to The Office of the Children’s Registry; Child Protection and Family Services Agency (CPFSA); or police.
On Thursday afternoon Malabver told Dionne Jackson-Miller that reports have been made to CPFSA. But Malabver didn’t tell THAT to the Education Conference. When were these reports made? It seems Malabver rushed to make the allegations as publicly as possible before formal reports were made to relevant enforcement agencies. Now cracks in the narrative are being papered over.
This looks like manipulation of information reaching Malabver to embarrass Government for political advantage. But both McKenzie, a political guru, and Morris-Dixon, not so much, seemed to have taken the bait and responded as politically as the announcements were made.
The simple reality? It’s a dereliction of Government’s duty that some vulnerable persons sheltered in schools during Melissa are still there. Those sheltering in close proximity to or within re-opened schools’ compounds should’ve been relocated months ago. The latest promise to relocate them by May 8 isn’t acceptable especially as I bet that date will be like Trump’s Iranian deadlines namely as flexible as fashion.
All the politicians involved (and Malabver) are acting like spoilt children instead of discharging their public duties. Media is lapping up the cass-cass instead of insisting:
(a) information alleging criminal conduct be properly reported not shouted from public platforms; and
(b) regardless how information of possible crime reaches them, government agencies must ensure immediate investigation without wasting time playing political football.
Peace and Love.
Gordon Robinson is an attorney-at-law. Send feedback to columns@gleanerjm.com
