I used to think that the greatest sign of closeness would be to leave a toothbrush with a boyfriend. You know the one. That small victory when you no longer carry everything in your bag because your brush is waiting for you somewhere. Little by little, the face cream, charger, and pajamas remain. A little more and half the wardrobe.
Today?
Today I have a toothbrush at my best friend’s house. And the older I get, the more I think I did better. A little more and they will assign me a drawer. Although, realistically, I almost don’t need her because I’m at her place so often that I already know where the glasses, towels, medicines and dog bowls are.
Glamor without glamour
If he calls me and tells me to come, I come as I am. Greasy hair. No bra. With a pimple that, of course, I dug up myself. And she will welcome me just as glamorously.
Sometimes we literally say to ourselves: “Go take a shower.” Or: “Brush your teeth.” And none of them get offended. Because you know that someone who will hug you five minutes later is telling you that.
When one urgently needs laundry because her period decided to come a few days early, the other just opens the closet. When one runs out of medicine, the other already knows in which purse she left it.
Once we both forgot to drink the therapy. We remembered in the middle of the store. Took the pills out from between the shelves, drank them down with the first bottle of water we found and continued picking tomatoes as if it was the most normal thing in the world.
We already know which cream she uses. What shampoo. Which toothpaste. What deodorant. She drinks matcha, I drink tea. I know her obsession with matcha so well that I gave her a bottle in her colors for her birthday. Today, she wears it almost everywhere.
Of course, let’s finish with pizza. And then we make sure that chocolate with rice is a decent dessert. Or cinnamon doughnuts. It depends on how “healthy” we decided to be that day.
But I only recently realized that all that is not the most important thing.
The most important thing is that I know that he is terrified of hospitals and doctors. If I need an MRI, a dermatologist or gynecologist will not ask if they should come. They’ll just ask, “What time?”
He may not be allowed to enter the doctor’s office with me. But they will be sitting in the waiting room. With a liter of water. And most likely donuts.
And I know that I would do exactly the same.
My own is enough
Only now did it become clear to me that I had been looking for romance in the wrong places for years.
I thought love was leaving your toothbrush with your partner.
Today I know that love is when someone knows where your medicine is. When he shamelessly tells you to brush your teeth. When he gives you a matcha bottle because he knows you’ll wear it every day. When you sit in the hospital waiting room just so you won’t be alone.
Until next time, I wish you at least one person in front of whom you don’t have to be beautiful, strong, or interesting. It’s enough to be yourself. If you have such a person, take care of him. Such people do not enter life often. But once inside, they become home.
Hug,
AND.
