Children do not need perfect fathers, what they need are present fathers, according to pastor Ricardo Miller. Ahead of Father’s Day on Sunday, June 21, he said the time for Bahamian men to step up is now.
Miller, dad to a 24-year-old son, RJ, and 14-year-old daughter, Grace, said his greatest goal today is not to be a perfect father but to be a “growing father.”
“I am still learning,” said the Bahamian pastor who did not grow up with a father figure growing up on New Providence.
“I often tell my children that I am getting better with age. My responsibility is not simply to regret what I did not know when they were younger but to continue becoming the father they need in every new season of their lives.”
Miller, senior pastor at The Study Church, a non-denominational ministry in Red Oak, Texas, in the Dallas-Fort Worth area, said he grew up in New Providence without his biological father in his home. And like many young boys from Washington Street, Soldier Road, Elizabeth Estates, and communities across The Bahamas, he experienced the challenges of navigating life without a father’s daily influence.
“I did not have someone standing in front of me showing me everything about fatherhood, so I made a commitment to seek mentors, ask questions, stay teachable, and learn from men who demonstrated healthy fatherhood. As we celebrate Father’s Day, I believe this is an important moment not just for celebration but for honest reflection. We must have a courageous conversation about one of the most significant challenges impacting our families and our nation … the absence of fathers in the lives of their children.”
Miller said far too many children throughout The Bahamas are growing up without the consistent presence, love, guidance, and involvement of their biological fathers.
“I am not speaking about men who do not know they have children. I am speaking about fathers who know their responsibility, know their children, but have chosen not to fully embrace the assignment of fatherhood.”
He said whether a male is married to the mother of their child or not, that fatherhood does not end because a relationship ends. And that a child still needs a father.
“I understand this reality personally,” he said.
“I still remember my years at E.P. Roberts Primary School and recognizing that many of my closest friends shared the same experience. As we moved into junior high and high school, many of us became involved in gangs, poor choices, and destructive behaviors. Looking back, as a man today, I cannot ignore the role that father absence played in many of our struggles.”
Miller was fortunate, he said, and that God placed other men in his life from his church, community and family who helped guide him, correct him, encourage him and expose him to another way of living. He said their influence mattered tremendously.
“The Bahamas is rapidly growing and changing. Through globalization and technology, our children are being influenced by voices from around the world every day; that is why the voice of a healthy father is more necessary than ever.”
He said fathers help establish identity and self-worth, provide discipline and direction, and provide security and an example of manhood and maturity.
“A father’s words of affirmation can help a child understand their value and potential. Proverbs 22:6 teaches us, ‘Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old, he will not depart from it.’ They help children understand boundaries, responsibility, accountability, and the importance of character. Ephesians 6:4 instructs fathers to bring their children up ‘in the training and instruction of the Lord.’ And children watch how fathers treat others, handle pressure, solve problems, express emotions, and walk through life.”
He said there is another kind of absent father — the one who is physically present but emotionally disconnected.
“You may live in the house but never truly know your child. You may provide money but fail to provide mentorship, conversation, affection, encouragement, and guidance. A child needs more than your presence in the building, they need your presence in their life,” said the pastor.
“Today, many of our young people are facing tremendous challenges. Depression, anxiety, loneliness, insecurity, identity struggles, and a lack of confidence are impacting many children and teenagers. While no father is perfect and no single person can solve every problem, the healthy involvement of a loving and engaged father can bring affirmation, stability, wisdom, and emotional support that can make a lasting difference in a child’s journey.”
As Father’s Day is celebrated, Miller encourages people to pray for the men of The Bahamas, as well as the young boys who he said long for their father’s attention, correction, and encouragement, as well as the daughters who need their father’s love, protection, and affirmation.
At the same token, he encouraged celebrating the fathers who are showing up daily.
“Let us celebrate the men who are coaching youth teams, mentoring young boys, teaching Sunday school, leading community programs, and embracing children who are not biologically their own. A healthy male influence can change the direction of a young person’s life,” said Miller.
Miller said men should remember that they are never too old to start being present.
“You are never too far behind to make a phone call, apologize, rebuild trust, and become a better father. The best time to plant a tree was years ago; the second-best time is today.
“This Father’s Day weekend, let us stop merely talking about the crisis and begin celebrating the solutions. What we celebrate, we encourage, and what we encourage, we will see multiplied. May we raise a generation of sons and daughters who know they are loved, valued, disciplined, and guided because the men of our nation chose to answer the call of fatherhood.
