Tageblatt.lu | World Cup column “Hasta la Visa”

The world association FIFA has thought of everything, except for one detail that could become important in the coming weeks: subtitles.

At the opening game of the World Cup, spectators and players wondered what referee Wilton Sampaio had just stammered into his headset to announce his sending-off decision. After analyzing the video several times, we managed to create a transcription: “Eeeh … arms directed in the … eeeh … in the face of … eeeh … the defender.” So far so good.

The referees at this year’s World Cup are not only forced to serve up their best English, but are also the poorest pigs in other ways.

Initially, Somali referee Omar Artan was denied entry into the United States. Border Control probably mistook him for a pirate who, as Trump once said, came from a country “that is practically only good at hijacking large ships.” No wonder that the Belgian VAR referee Bram van Driessche was able to enter the country without any problems. You can satisfy Trump’s “Magas” with fries and beer in your luggage.

When you have finally passed passport control and are on the pitch, the next hurdle comes. Since the start of the tournament, the referees have been wearing a kind of “dashcam” to record every accident (or mistake). The spectators should be shown the perspective of the referees. It would only be stupid if a fly appeared in front of the camera at exactly a crucial moment and distracted the view for milliseconds. An audience of millions would see this as a lapse in concentration, but it was actually just force majeure.

And then there is the VAR. My personal favorite child. I’m already looking forward to getting upset about the decisions of this self-absorbed technology. It’s actually quite simple. When you watch a mega-slow motion of a scene, you actually have to put aside any form of logic. If you can do that, then you usually make the same decisions as the referees. And it would sound like this: “eeh … red … eeh … card”.