It was my first pregnancy and I’d been sick for more than seven months with hyperemesis gravidarum. In those late stages, after the HG finally passed, I was exhausted and overwhelmed. It was the dual feeling of excitement and trepidation. Was I ready to have a baby when I’d only just got used to waddling around and the discomfort of pregnancy?
One day I was at the shops and not feeling great. As I was walking down an aisle, a woman came up behind me. I assumed she was going to ask me to move or make a not-super-friendly comment. Instead, she said: “Do you know that your shoelace is undone?” I didn’t – I couldn’t see my feet! – and thanked her for letting me know.
Then she asked: “Would it be all right if I did it up for you?”
She tied my laces up, gave me a big smile and walked off.
It was a small gesture but felt so affirming. She must have been a mum, knowing that to trip at this stage of the pregnancy would have been serious and how difficult it was to even touch my toes.
As an expectant mother bringing a little person into the world, you want to feel that it is mostly filled with good people. In that moment I felt reassured that there are such lovely people out there, in every place and all walks of life.
It also touched me in another way. When you’re pregnant, the guards you usually have up around strangers get stripped away. A private experience becomes very public, especially towards the end when it’s obvious how imminently this thing is happening. You are a lot more vulnerable. And you have to rely on others in ways that can make you uncomfortable; to just give in to it and say, “Yes, I need help.”
The flipside is strangers often feel inclined to verbalise how they’re feeling about your pregnancy in ways that aren’t always welcome. All of which made the simple, nonjudgmental manner in which that woman looked out for me feel so much more meaningful.
There was nothing she wanted from me – only to do up my shoelace. What a humbling, beautiful thing.
What is the nicest thing a stranger has ever done for you?
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