On one Saturday, the task of partnering The Dunce fell upon The Beast.
The Beast drew double-six three consecutive games and posed it. The Dunce repeatedly cut The Beast’s cards to play his own. Dessie would’ve thrown a domino at The Dunce but The Beast, a kinder, gentler, more patient type, implored him to change his style.
This prompted Haemorrhoid to pause his complaints about “piles and piles” of files on his desk and tell a Shaggy Dog tale set in the future.
“It’s 2028. U.S.A. just elected Susan its first female President. She’s from Minnesota. A few days after election, President-elect calls her father and says “I assume you’ll be coming to my inauguration?”
“I don’t think so Susie. It’s a 20-hour drive.”
Don’t worry about it, dad! I’ll send Air Force One and a limousine to pick you up at your door.”
“Everyone will be so fancy. What’ would your mother wear?”
“Oh, dad,” replies Susan, “I’ll make sure she has a wonderful gown, custom-made by Washington’s best designer.”
“Honey,” her dad complains, “you know I can’t eat those rich foods. Do they serve tap beer?”
President-to-be responds, “Don’t worry, dad. The entire affair will be handled by Washington’s best caterer. I’ll ensure your meal includes potatoes and cheddar. You and Mom just have to be there.”
So, dad reluctantly agrees. On January 20, 2029, Susan is being sworn in as U.S.A. President. Susan’s parents sit in the front row sit. Her dad, noticing a Senator sitting next to him, leans over and whispers “You see that woman over there with her hand on the Bible?”
“You bet I do,” whispers the Senator.
Dad proudly beams “Her brother played football for the Minnesota Vikings.”
Haemorrhoid told The Beast people don’t change.
I reflected on Haemorrhoid’s foresight a week ago when American voters went above and beyond standard anti-executive mid-term votes and delivered a stinging rebuke to Agent Orange and his lapdogs. But the Democratic Party should recognize this as a vote against Trump – not supporting it.
This doesn’t signal any change in traditional American values especially those against browning of USA through permissive immigration practices. Results in Ruby Red States like Kansas; South Carolina, Ohio; Texas; and Mississippi mean Americans are embarrassed at how their values have been expressed and enforced so as to cause worldwide humiliation for USA.
The voters want leaders to change focus and deeds NOT values. America is still for Americans. But that doesn’t have to be communicated so crudely. This isn’t support for leftist policies. Six Democratic Socialists were elected to the House but all in reliable Blue Districts. None flipped a Republican seat.
Trump asked voters to pretend he was on the ballot. They did. Now Democrats have two years to prove to voters they can change Congress’ behaviour without changing core American values. Voters don’t want revenge. They want their lives more affordable. In 2028 they’ll vote again.
Instead of irrelevant celebrations, Jamaicans should watch and learn. We only get one degge degge vote once every 5 years and then only for MP. More consequential voting and staggered elections would allow voters to send messages to political leaders more often. Public service and accountability would improve.
Americans want to go back to the type of politics both parties once practiced. President George W. Bush addressed media outside the White House on November 5, 2008:
“Good morning. Last night, I had a warm conversation with President-elect Barack Obama. I congratulated him and Senator Biden on their impressive victory. I told the President-elect he can count on complete cooperation from my administration as he makes the transition to the White House.
I also spoke to Senator John McCain. I congratulated him on a determined campaign that he and Governor Palin ran. The American people will always be grateful for the lifetime of service John McCain has devoted to this nation. And I know he’ll continue to make tremendous contributions to our country.
No matter how they cast their ballots all Americans can be proud of the history that was made yesterday. Across the country citizens voted in large numbers. They showed a watching world the vitality of America’s democracy, and the strides we have made toward a more perfect union. They chose a President whose journey represents a triumph of the American story; a testament to hard work, optimism and faith in the enduring promise of our nation.
Many of our citizens thought they would never live to see that day. This moment is especially uplifting for a generation of Americans who witnessed the struggle for civil rights with their own eyes; and four decades later see dreams fulfilled.”
Eight years afterwards American politics changed its tone from civilized to uncivilized. Don’t be fooled. There’ll be no fundamental change in USA. Ashamed, fiscally stressed voters want change in leaders’ attitude. That’s it. That’s all.
Reality? French journalist Jean-Baptiste Alphonse Karr coined the perfect answer in 1849: Plus ça change, plus c’est la même chose.
Peace and Love.
Gordon Robinson is an attorney at law. Send feedback to columns@gleanerjm.com
