For many international residents in France, the hardest part of learning French is not grammar, verb tables or even vocabulary. It is the everyday moments.
The phone call to the internet provider. The quick exchange at the market. Asking the plumber what exactly is wrong. Making a doctor’s appointment. Trying to keep up when someone speaks fast and life is moving around you. Many expats discover they can understand far more French than they feel able to speak. So why does that gap feel so persistent?
According to Deborah from FeelGoodFrench, it often comes down to the fact that everyday French is very different from the version many learners first meet in textbooks.
“France doesn’t speak textbook French,” she says. “People arrive knowing how to order a coffee, then reality hits: the plumber speaks fast, the internet provider uses jargon, the market vendor swallows half her words.” The challenge, she explains, is rarely just vocabulary. More often, it is speed, context and pressure. “Understanding French while your Wi-Fi is down or when someone is waiting behind you at the bakery is a very different sport.”
That is why so many learners find themselves in a familiar in-between stage: able to follow the gist of what is happening, but still hesitant when it is their turn to speak. For Deborah, the issue is often less about knowledge than confidence. “Most people know more French than they think,” she says. “They recognise words, understand the gist and can often follow conversations. But speaking means producing language in real time, imperfectly, without overthinking.” That, she says, is where many people get stuck. The instinct is often to wait until their French feels “good enough”, but in practice, that moment rarely arrives on its own. “The breakthrough comes when learners stop aiming for perfect French and start aiming for useful French.”
Read more about The Local’s new online beginner French course in collaboration with FeelGoodFrench
The moments that matter most
The situations that feel most intimidating are often not the dramatic ones, but the ordinary ones – the moments that shape whether daily life in France feels manageable or overwhelming.
Phone calls remain a classic stress point, Deborah says, whether it is arranging internet service, dealing with a mobile provider or booking a doctor’s appointment. But beyond that, there are all the small, deeply French moments that carry surprising emotional weight: asking a question at the Saturday market, chatting with neighbours in the street, sorting out a delivery issue or asking for help at the train station. “These are small moments,” she says, “but emotionally they’re huge because they shape independence.”
And that is often the real goal for many expats: not sounding flawless, but feeling capable.
Deborah Pham van Xua, founder of Feel Good French, says confidence in French often begins with small, practical conversations repeated in everyday life.Why confidence builds slowly – and then all at once
So what actually helps? Not perfection, Deborah says, but repetition. She believes confidence is built through what she calls “tiny wins” – small, manageable moments of using French that gradually start to feel normal. “One question at the bakery. One sentence to the neighbour. One call to the mobile provider. One imperfect chat with the plumber instead of switching straight to English.” Each of those moments, she says, becomes evidence.
“Confidence grows from evidence. The more learners collect proof that they can function in France, the less they freeze.” That is why she encourages a habit-based approach to learning: small daily actions, lots of repetition, and far less pressure to get everything right.
Why the right format matters
That same philosophy shapes how Deborah teaches. For beginners especially, she believes small-group learning can often be far effective than a traditional classroom setting. “Beginners don’t need performance,” she says. “They need safety and practice.”
In smaller groups, learners tend to speak more, hesitate less and quickly realise they are not the only ones who feel nervous about making mistakes, not understanding everything or sounding silly. “That normalisation changes everything,” she says. “The group becomes a space to practise the exact conversations they need in France, then reuse them outside the classroom the same day.”
When that happens, learning starts to feel less like an academic exercise and more like real life. And for many international residents, that is exactly the point. For most people living in France, learning French is not really about mastering the language in the abstract. It is about feeling more at ease. More independent. More at home.
A new beginner French course from The Local and FeelGoodFrench
The Local has recently launched a new online beginner French course in partnership with FeelGoodFrench, designed around practical, confidence-building French for everyday life.
Delivered in small live groups over 12 weeks, the course focuses on the kinds of situations many expats find most challenging – from cafés and markets to appointments, neighbours and everyday admin.
